Seton Baby Talk

I learned what it’s like to be a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) this last week, and let me tell you, it is ABSOLUTELY the toughest job in the world and the monetary gain is nil! I took the entire 12 weeks of leave to spend with Owen after he was born. As it grew closer and closer to the time to go back to work, I became more and more panicked. How was I going to manage not being with him every day? How was I going to be able to leave him with someone else? Was pumping going to be the biggest pain ever while at work? I had moments where I was absolutely sure I wanted to be a SAHM. It was not in our family budget to be able to have only one income though and I ended up going back to work…part time. Instead of working 5 days a week, I went back 3 days, which was a nice compromise and it worked out well.

For the past two weeks my day care provider, Joan, and her family have been on vacation to see family in another state. I looked a bit to find someone to watch Owen during my office days (Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays) with no success, and as it turned out, my husband took off the first week (he had some vacation time he would lose if he didn’t use it), and I ended up taking off the second week (with no vacation time and no pay as I’m working part time now. Trade offs, I guess.)

Monday was our typical day. We woke up around 7:30, shared a bowl of oatmeal, and played. Like every other Monday, I attempted to get a little bit of housework done with zero success, as my little guy is a bit high maintenance. He likes people to play with him (or at the very least NEXT to him) and if you are not holding him, you better be in the same room within a 4 foot radius of him darnit! Normally on Tuesdays I go into the office as well as Wednesdays and Thursdays, but Tuesday morning came and I found myself at home with Owen again. He was a nightmare. Whining and crying all day. He didn’t want to be held. He didn’t want to be put down. He didn’t want to play. He didn’t want to read. He didn’t want to take a nap. He didn’t want to watch The Wiggles (it’s a bad day when The Wiggles won’t cheer him up!), and I noticed his fingers were in his mouth a lot more. His doctor has been saying for MONTHS that he’s getting molars (Does it take that long? It must!) and it seems this might FINALLY be it. I put my finger into the side of his mouth and on both sides, he has large lumps on the top AND on the bottom, with the two on top almost peeking through. It was at that time that I noticed his cheeks were actually just a teeny bit swollen from it all. Poor little guy! At least all the whining and crabbiness was explained but it really didn’t help matters. There was laundry to be done and dishes to be done, and a baby that was literally stuck to me. If I wasn’t holding him he was hanging on my leg whining or crying. With the exception of the few 10 minute intervals here and there when we’d play “I’m gonna get you!” and chase around the house giggling. It was a long day and I was so glad when my husband walked in the door so I could take a 10 minute breather from mommy duty. Sometimes it’s all you really need. In all honesty I needed a little more than 10 minutes but that evening, my son, being just over his cold, apparently picked up some sort of stomach bug (AGAIN!) and puked all over himself, all over the bed, all over me, all over the floor. The mommy “beeper” of sorts went off, and I was back on duty, just like a doctor, but without the paycheck.

Owen was sick all night long so I was running on fumes on Wednesday, with a sick little boy, and more dishes and laundry piled up which were once again, impossible to get to. By 2:00 I was calling my husband to say hello and get a little bit of adult interaction and ask when he was going to get home that day. Luckily he was able to get out a little bit early and come home. Owen was actually on the mend by that time, but my nerves were frazzled. I was going stir crazy (hadn’t left the house in 3 days—sick kid and all) and had only had social interaction with adults via facebook and twitter. They’re great, but it’s nothing like having an actual adult conversation! Shortly after my husband walked in the door, I walked out and headed for dinner and a drink with a friend of mine.

It may all sound terrible, but the truth is this: I love my sweet baby boy more than anything in the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He is my sun, moon, stars and sky. He is my happiness. BUT…I am not cut out to be a full time SAHM. I give so much credit to women who do stay home with their kids full time. They most definitely have the most difficult job in the world, and the one that pays the least. ..in money anyways. One thing it does pay in is love. Comforting my little guy when he’s sick is not only my Mommy duty, but my Mommy pleasure. I love knowing that he knows he can count on me to comfort him and make him feel better when he’s feeling bad. Seeing moments I wouldn’t normally get to see, like him playing with our beagle Abbey, and yelling, “Ab-BEEEEEEE!” at her when she’s barking and he feels it’s unnecessary (they really do pick up on everything we do, don’t they?). Him sweeping up the front room with his new kid sized broom. I’m hoping that desire to clean sticks with him as he gets older, but I’m not counting on it. I watched him rock out on his new guitar he got for Christmas and dance when I sang a made up song about needing to wash the clothes (I did manage to get two loads done in those 3 days). Owen showered me with hugs and kisses that I wouldn’t normally get. There are nothing like his sweet little hugs and kisses. He walks up, puckers his lips while saying “OOOOO” to let you know he’s needing a quick kiss, and he grins ear to ear after each one. He showed me his ears, nose, mouth and eyes a number of times during our stay at home which I hadn’t seen before this past week with such vigor! We read tons of books, his favorite about animals where he giggles when it comes to the part about the rooster saying, “cock a doodle doo!” and the pig saying “oink, oink, oink!” So while it’s doctor’s hours without the pay, it pays in something else far more precious than money…it pays in memories. Although I did go stir crazy and I did need a break half way through the week, I’m glad I was able to take the time off to spend with my little guy. Funny thing? I spent a good portion of my dinner out talking about how wonderful Owen is and how cute and how funny, and how brilliant, and you know…just the best thing ever. And I missed him while I was out.

It seems I need a little time away every now and again to remind myself how awesome the time together really is.

Stay at Home Moms, my hat is off to you. You are the hardest working people out there. You don’t get awards or accolades for your hard work and you absolutely should. You should be getting the paychecks of CEO’s because that’s what you are: the CEO of a family.

Are you planning to return to work after the birth of your baby or are you going to be a SAHM? What did you consider when making your decision?