Seton Baby Talk

When faced with the question, what is that thing on earth that you desire the most, many people have trouble narrowing down the possibilities. Is it fame? Is it fortune? How about stunning good looks or maybe a brilliant mind? Well not me. I am very clear about what my heart desires. The thing I want most in this life is a good night’s sleep. That’s right, eight hours of uninterrupted snoozing would be so much better than precious diamonds, glittering gold or even playing 18 holes with Willie Nelson on his private Hill Country golf course, though that runs a close second. Yes, while visions of grandeur may tease the minds of many, I know that the most precious thing in our world is peaceful sleep.

Our brood totals three: a six and a half year old, a four year old, and a seven month old. My wife and I have battled the sleep demons for many years. I think I covet this lengthy slumber now, because we are so very close to actually finding the treasure. We are so close I can taste it.

The youngest goes down at 7 p.m. wakes up between 3 and 4, cries for a few minutes and then sleeps till 6:30. But it was just this past week that we were able to resist the urge to get up and give him a bottle at first scream. We decided to let the little dude cry it out for a few minutes hoping he would put himself back to sleep. Well glory be! It’s working! First night he squawked for 15 minutes. Second night it was 10 minutes. Now he is averaging 5 to 8 minutes, but I feel like he is close to not squealing at all and I can’t wait. I know that it’s not going to be a cake-walk once he gets his extended nap on. The whole sleep thing is hard to figure out but if I can count on them staying down once they get down, it’s an entirely new day.

If you have little ones you know what I’m talking about. And if you are just expecting your first, for goodness sakes stop reading this and go to bed; you need to stock up.

After our first child was born people would ask me when are you going to have another? My sincere answer was whenever I forget how tired I was taking care of the first. It seems my memory is about two and a half years. But this time it hurts more than it used to. Maybe it’s the accumulation of years of sleep deprivation or maybe it’s because I’m just old. What ever it is I’m tired and ready to sleep.

I don’t subscribe to any specific sleep method but here are a few observations from my night-night journey:

With child number one we were the typical over protective parents, worried about every squeak and every breath. As with most infants, it took 6 to 8 months to get him to go down by himself and sleep through the night. However bouts of colic, foot and mouth disease, roto-virus and ear infectious complicated the already difficult learning to sleep by yourself process. It seemed that just when we got him to go to sleep by himself, he would get sick, we would worry and bring him into Mommy and Daddy’s bed and be back at square one.

Snuggling with your little one is maybe the most precious time in the world but it comes with a price. If you practice extended snuggling until they fall asleep, they always need Mommy and Daddy to go to sleep! And if you want them to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and they still need you at bedtime, that means you lie down at 7 or 8 p.m. If you are like me once your head hits the pillow it’s lights out. Many nights I was sawing logs well before the youngster. Positives of this method: you go to bed like a farmer. The negative: you rarely see your spouse.

Literally weeks after establishing a workable sleep schedule for our first child, the second bundle of joy arrived and we started over. She brought her own sleep issues, mainly, she didn’t like too! It didn’t matter what time she fell asleep she was up and going at dawn. And the process of getting her to actually relax and go to sleep was like teaching this year’s Texas basketball team to shoot free throws. Futile.

Left in her bed alone she was up and down a hundred times a night. Having learned our lesson the first time about the dangers of extended snuggling, we vowed not to make the same mistake twice. We set a fifteen minute snuggle limit after story time and then we sat on the floor in her room until she falls asleep. It works, kind of. As long as Mommy or Daddy is in the room she will stay in the bed and eventually fall asleep. Positives of this method: thanks to Hulu.com and earphones you get to catch up on all of the back episodes of LOST. The negative: you rarely see your spouse.

They say that sleep training is a smart way to go; train your kids to be good sleepers. Well, in our house, the sleep training routine is for the grown-ups. We’ve had to learn to let our kids find their way and thank goodness I think they are close. Breaking bad habits is a killer, but in the end, we all just need a good night’s sleep.